GLASS ART

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Dangling in the air so fragile

It can break at any moment

Living in a world so senile

Swallowed by the devil’s serpent

Dancing so beautifully, trapped

In its own box, hiding away

Unaware of life beyond its tap

The days are just faded shades of gray

 

Will it break?

Will it break?

It’s a lost art

It’s a glass art

Will you break?

Glass art

 

Long ago, the beauty was whole

Shining so brightly like the sun

When it fell in a dark, black hole

Splitting into two halves from one

The cracks left behind on its skin

Broke the smile and the spirit

The scars separating the twins

Wore the flesh so thin of the fearless

 

Will it break?

Will it break?

It’s a lost art

It’s a glass art

Will you break?

Glass art

 

Night came and ate the first half raw

While the second blinked its blind eyes

Oblivious of its cursed flaw

The glowing fireflies had died

The summer never came again

Fall stayed with its bleeding colors

As red painted the guilty end

Of the last suicidal lover

 

Will it break?

Will it break?

It’s a lost art

It’s a glass art

Will it break?

Glass art.

 

Hanging in the air so fragile

It will die at any moment

Dying in a world so senile

At the bite of the sly serpent

Behind the despair of the trapped

In their glass house far, far away

Afraid of the life beyond their tap

The broken pieces have turn dark gray.

 

It is broken

It is broken

The glass art

The lost art

Lies broken

Dying art.

 

 

War (Has Killed the Saints)

 

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Faces covered in paint

Who are they anymore?

War has killed the saints

Scarred them to the core

More, more

They want more, more, more

It’s war

 

Innocence is gone from their eyes

They’ve seen it all

Blood and murder stain their lives

The rise and fall

They sleep with cold skeletons

Dying to feel the adrenaline

Finger inching towards the trigger

The killer inside snickers

It’s war

 

Faces covered in paint

Who are they anymore?

War has killed the saints

Scarred them to the core

More, more

They want more, more, more

It’s war

 

No longer humans they smile

Oh humanity

Living like standing on trial

What a tragedy

Inside we are just poor animals

Suppressing our inner cannibals

Does another life really matter?

It’s an art, so contagious like cancer

It’s war

 

Faces covered in paint

Who are they anymore?

War has killed the saints

Scarred them to the core

More, more

They want more, more, more

It’s war

 

They’ve been to hell and back

They know what’s waiting

Head, legs, and arms slashed

The restraints are fading

And no one remembers their names

Because to them, they’re all the same

Marching with empty dreams

Machines getting by with any means

Its war

 

Innocence is gone from their eyes

They’ve seen it all

Blood and murder stain their lives

The rise and fall

They sleep with cold skeletons

Dying to feel the adrenaline

Finger inching towards the trigger

The killer inside snickers

 

It’s war

It’s war

It’s war

 

Faces covered in paint

Who are they anymore?

War has killed the saints

Scarred them to the core

More, more

They want more, more, more

It’s war

 

 

 

And the war has killed the saints. 

Give me a reason.

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Can you hear my voice whispering?

On the ground with my wrist glistening

I can feel the end coming soon

Dying in this dark and crowded room

Can you hear me?

My voice is getting softer

In what do you believe?

Will heaven be any better?

 

Give me a reason to live this life

Watching the earth commit suicide

Give me a purpose to stay alive

With heaven and earth on split sides

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

 

I was asleep for so, so long

I didn’t see any of the wrong going on

I lived shut away from the world

I was so blind in my own twirl

Shake me awake

From this looming depression

Snap life a second take

Get off at the next intersection

 

Give me reason to live this life

Watching the earth commit suicide

Give me a purpose to stay alive

With heaven and earth on split sides

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

 

Dressed in gold at their funeral

Leave their bodies clammy and cold

But with a smile on their lips

Heaven is so close so they slip

What more can I see?

Every corner is the same

Our ashes lead to the sea

Only when we die does it change lanes

 

 

Give me a reason to live this life

Watching the earth commit suicide

Give me a purpose to stay alive

With heaven and earth on split sides

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

 

People standing here all around

Each one’s wearing their fool’s crown

Unaware of my diming existence

Worshiping God with unbounded persistence

Too blind with devotion

Should I stay or should I go?

All seeking salvation

My heart is beginning to slow

So I ask

 

Can you hear my voice whispering?

On the ground with my wrist glistening

I can feel the end coming soon

Dying in this dark and crowded room

Can you hear me?

My voice is getting softer

In what do you believe?

Will heaven be any better?

 

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

Give me a reason

Give me a reason 

Highway 205 Drive

Highway 205 Drive

If you haven’t taken the time or perhaps you haven’t even thought about visiting Oregon. The visit is now. Experience Oregon during the fall and you’ll never want to go back to your hot, summer California (or anywhere else). No one can beat an Oregonian drive to SE Portland via highway 205.

I mean, you don’t even need editing for this!

I want to be normal.

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Who’s that stranger in the mirror?

Suicidal thoughts stare back

Less than human, she’s inferior

I’ll smash it till I crack

I will be normal

 

I want to be perfect in your eyes

Bury the truth underneath lies

Erase my name from my skin

Run my colors till they’re thin

Till they’re dull

It’s society’s pull

Help me I want to be just like you

Black or white

But pick a side

I want to be normal

 

Who’s that stranger in the mirror?

Suicidal thoughts stare back

Less than human, she’s inferior

I’ll smash it till I crack

I will be normal

 

My mind is drifting into darkness

Staring at myself, at its rawness

So fragile like a glass ceiling

My layers are peeling

Naked, it’s a cage for my abnormality

Trapped, I’m an animal in its totality

Take it away

I’m afraid

I want to be normal

 

Who’s that stranger in the mirror?

Suicidal thoughts stare back

Less than human, she’s inferior

I’ll smash it till I crack

I will be normal

 

 

Let me drown with the rest of you

March in line with my mouth mute

Cut flesh to break free from my prison 

Normalcy is life’s greatest lesson

I’ll march this walk

To death we flock

If you die, let me die

It’s individuality’s suicide

I want to be normal

 

Who’s that stranger in the mirror?

Suicidal thoughts stare back

Less than human, she’s inferior

I’ll smash it till I crack

I will be normal

Dear College Commuter

Dorms. New Friends. Independence. The Experience.

Oh, wait a second…

Dear New College Commuter, 

(This sounds a lot better!)

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The first year I transferred to Portland State University, I felt disconnected from my peers and my classes because I had canceled my housing application and decided to commute to school instead. The living expense to live in this beautiful city was way out of my reach, and my parent’s fixed income wouldn’t stretch any further. (Trust me, I tried.)

What I had been dreaming of and working for, for the past five years of my life had suddenly become so distant and unattainable. It taunted me with its sly, enticing smile, laughing at my misfortune. I envied my peers. They didn’t have to wake up at the crack of dawn and drive for an hour or an hour and a half to get to class on time. All they needed was 30 minutes to roll out of bed and walk the 5 minutes distance to class. They could stay up all night, talking to their new friends because it didn’t matter. They didn’t have to go anywhere. They could go to all the events and activities because they had the time to. Not only that, but they had the chance to live in eccentric center of Portland, where everyone dressed in second hand clothes they purchased from the thrift shop down the street, ate pizza and drank beer, and hung around at coffee shops all day long. It was everyone I had wanted.

It wasn’t until the final trimester when I finally started to come to terms with being a commuter. I began to talk to people outside of class and began hanging out at the (can you guess it?) at the cafes! 

Well, now it’s day 9 of my second year here, not counting weekends, and I am still a commuter, and I don’t mind it one bit. Sure, it’s more difficult to meet people and be motivated, but you get the sweet satisfaction of saying “hasta la vista, baby!” to your school when you leave for the weekends and everyone else is stuck there whether they like it or not.

As it turns out, the people (Mary and Anna) who I had met in first term of Spanish at PSU are now the greatest and coolest friends in the world.  Anna is an artist double majoring in art and Spanish, and Mary is a linguistic major minoring in Spanish, planning to graduate next term. Although they are a bit older than me, especially Mary, it doesn’t feel force. It feels natural as though I had known them for years. We laugh and talk about the most hilarious things. On her trip to Mexico, Mary sent us postcards and invited us over to her studio apartment over on Mississippi St., on the other side of town, to celebrate our birthdays together. (Our birthdays our even close to each others! It was the best triple birthday EVER, but that’s another story.)

I know it’s hard adapting to commuting everyday, and it’s hard making friends, but don’t give up. It took me a year to realize this. Stumbling and failing is a part of the journey, but you’ll always be able to pull yourself up again. Friends won’t come to you, and it won’t be as easy as meeting new people through you roommates or walking into the dorm lobby and starting instant conversations with strangers, but it’s possible. Hey, maybe you can’t move this year or even the next or EVEN the one after that, but that’s okay. The college experience is whatever you make it out to be, and who knows? Maybe you’ll find a nice, part time job (which I am currently waiting for a second interview for.) and might be financially able to move to campus or live on your own. It might seem fun and exciting to live in the dorms, but if you can’t afford it then why stretch yourself out? After all, when you graduate, you won’t have to worry about a $30,000 debt for having lived in the dorms (everything else excluded). You’ll be significantly in better standing, and when they struggle to make the minimum payments on their loans (because remember interest accumulates, depending on what sort of loans you applied for), you’ll be able to afford to live in the REAL world. 

The Perks of Being Unemployed.

Ever since I turned 16 and began working my first job at Premier Services Group, a catering company, I have never before been unemployed until now. I did have a brief period transitioning between jobs between Premier and the cannery, but I never considered myself among the millions of unemployed Americans. Even with the terrible hours and unstable employment from Premier, I always knew that there was going to be another event. If I spent my money carefully, I could make it last until next time because there was always a tomorrow. So even if I didn’t make as much money as I had hoped for or if I needed more, I always knew that I had tomorrow.  One of the best things about working there was that it worked perfectly with my student schedule since most of the events where during nights and weekends. Plus, there was ALWAYS free food, which if you’ve ever been a college student you will understand how critical that part is. Free catering food is way better than having to eat quesadillas and cup noodles.

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Unemployment isn’t always a negative thing. It can be positive too. It depends on how you look at it. The glass of water is whatever you make it to be. To me, the glass will always be half full, but that’s because I’m an optimistic or at least that what I like to think. Think about it. Now that you don’t have to get up at certain time and rush to work to beat the morning traffic, there are so many things you can do.  Embrace it, you unemployed citizen, and follow these tips (or not).

1. Television/ Netflix as Your Best Friend

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It’s time to watch all those daytime soap operas that only your mom has time for now. If you don’t have Netflix, then you’re missing out. It is one of the best investments any unemployed person can make. Start a new series and forget the outside world until you finish it.  If you can’t afford that then find a good pirated website, you little felon.

2. Going back to Your Once Scholarly Ways

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Remember that book you always wanted to write? Congratulations, you have the time now. Get that pencil and paper or start up that computer.  Now would be a great time to finally read that book that your grandma gave you and you lied about reading. Grandma is not as oblivious as you think. She is going to catch up on of these days so get to it.  At least keep up with local news so you can interact with people.

3. Embracing Your Inner Night Owl.

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Now that you are unemployed, staying up till all hours of the night is a given. With all your Netflix series you’re watching and Facebook stalking you’re doing (just admit it) it’s no surprise your internal clock isn’t as it used to be. At this rate, if you get up before noon it’s an accomplishment!

4. Relax. Find a hobby/Take a Class/ Volunteer

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With all this free time, it’s time to start a new project. Maybe you want to give back to your community and help out. You could volunteer at the library or a resource center. Not only is it fulfilling but also it enhances your resume.  Take that Salsa class that you’ve always wanted to take but couldn’t because of conflicting schedules. Pick up a new instrument and learn how to play it or learn how to juggle and street preform your way through clowning school. Really, the possibilities are endless. Just get out there and do it.

5. Get in Shape

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This one is probably the easiest one to start since you’ll be riding you bike everywhere now. $5 a gallon? Yeah right, you can’t afford that, but don’t feel bad because many employed people can’t either. Hell, you were just one of them. Isn’t it amazing how you’re not a headless drone polluting our streets. You’ll have those nice, tone legs and rock hard abs before you know it.

6. Sparkle, Sparkle, Mother, mother

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That is exactly how your apartment/house is going to look like now.  Since you’re the only one not contributing to the household, you’ll be expected to become America’s Next Top Maid. You’ll have to clean the house and keep it looking pretty and scented. It’s time to take pride in that patch of weeds that you call a garden. Cook your housemates a nice meal. It’s a great way to show gratitude and to remind them the importance of your presence. (It’ll keep them off your back.)

7. Living On a Budget

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So you’re not the next Bill Gates which means you won’t be able to go out every night or eat out every day. Find inexpensive ways to have fun with friends like going to the park and going to Cinebarre Tuesdays, where it’s only $6 to see new movie releases.  Unless you want to eat off McDonald’s dollar menu every day, learn how to coupon shop and do yourself a favor by printing off easy to prepare recipes. Try to limit going out to expensive restaurants, nightclubs, and bars.  A perfect alternative is to have a potluck and have your friends contribute. Have someone bring you your precious alcohol, you alcoholic.

8. Maintain Your Optimism

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If there’s anything to take away from this is that the future is uncertain, and it may take a while for you to get back on your feet. Regardless, of the obstacles, you shouldn’t get discourage. There is no right way on how to get through this. The only advice I can give is that there is always tomorrow, and embrace life for what it is. The important thing is to not stress out and enjoy yourself while looking for another job.