I know it’s been a long time since I posted anything. I thought that by now I would have things more figured out. I mean, on paper it seemed perfect. I was controlling my diabetes with diet and exercise. I was making more intimate connections with friends. I had gotten a part time job in retail in order to become more independent and void out some of the financial burden on my parents. I had finished another year at college, working towards my triple bachelor degrees, and finally feeling whole that this was the correct path. I was so afraid to start my major’s class sequence because I was scared that I wouldn’t like it or worse that I would be mediocre at best. But, it wasn’t like that. No, not at all. I completely fell in love with marketing from the very first day. I knew what I wanted. I knew what it was like to feel complete, to know exactly what I wanted. I pitied people who still didn’t know what they were doing or hadn’t found what their true calling was. Everything just seemed to make sense. It was kind of common sense how easily it was for me to memorize—no not only memorize, but understand as well. I felt on top of the world.
Then during summer vacation, without a place to exercise my mind, to be with other like-minded people, I started to suffer. My retail job, although physically demanding, does nothing to satisfy my mental thirst. My brain feels numb from repetitive tasks. I want to learn, to make myself work for something complex and rewarding. I started working full time since it was summer, and at first it was okay, but then I accidentally injured my back lifting heavy equipment. It is too expensive to pay for an MRI at the moment since they are asking for $1000 for my deductible so I have been living with excruciating pain for the past several months. It damaged a nerve running down my leg, which has made it very painful to sit or walk for very long. Thankfully, I was able to get narcotics from my doctor to relieve some of the pain, which is unbearable working retail.
My second mistake was selling my reliable but old Geo Prizm. I wanted something newer with better MPG due to my daily hour commute to Portland for school. After heavy research, I decided to go with this seemingly nice and trustworthy looking dealership, Royal Moore, in Hillsboro. After a quick test drive, I decided to take that beautiful 2004 Honda Civic Hybrid home. I filled out the paperwork, excited to finally have a better car to commute in. It drove fine for the first 5 days only driving to and from work, less than a 5 mile commute each way. Then on the 6th day, I decided to take it to a real test drive and drive to the coast with my friend. On the way back into Salem, it started to jerk and shutter. I was only able to drop off my friend and cross the street before it gave out. I had to get it towed home because it would not accelerate at all. I took it to the Honda dealership the next day and found out that it had numerous problems. The transmission was slipping, the catalytic converter had a history code for failure, a few parts from the drivetrain had fallen out, and the guards to protect the motor were missing.
When I went back to the dealership, they were unwilling to take back the car since it was in working condition when I had left with it and I had opted out from the 2.5k extended warranty. I argued with them that it was not okay and that the salesman had told me that it was in good condition. Their response was again, that it was in working condition when I left with it and they can’t spend money on luxury items (such as the guards to protect the motor).
I have filed a small claims suit against them, and I’m hoping to contact a lawyer soon to see what my options are. After turning on the car today, I realized that the IMA battery is almost dead from not using it for over a month. If the battery dies then it could completely discharge and will have to buy a new battery; a 3k bill.
Sometimes, I feel so numb and unconnected from the world. Why me? I am doing everything right. I don’t drink or do drugs. I am one of the brightest persons in class. I work hard on my academic life. I sacrifice hanging out with friends and spending time with my family because I want to be the best at what I do. Soon, I’ll be working on top of my course load when classes start again. I still have to figure out how I will pay for the gas using my mother’s SUV to drive to Portland everyday and learn how to park in those incredible tight parking spaces in the university’s parking structures. I had enough trouble parking my small sedan. I can’t imagine how it will be with the SUV. I am starting to lose hope, waiting to see what will happen with my car case and leg. With only a month left, I really hope at least something gets resolved.
Until next time.